Is Your Manager's 'Kindness' Actually Holding Back Your Career?

Effective feedback in the workplace, whether positive or critical, is consistently linked to stronger performance, increased innovation, and higher levels of employee engagement. According to Gallup’s State of the American Workplace report (2023), employees who regularly receive meaningful feedback are nearly four times more likely to be engaged than those who do not. This highlights the essential role that feedback plays in driving concrete business outcomes. When managers offer clear observations and actionable guidance, they foster an environment of mutual respect and build deeper trust, creating alignment between individual and organizational goals. However, despite the acknowledgment of the importance of giving feedback, there remains a significant gap between intention and execution. Many leaders claim to prefer open communication, yet studies consistently reveal that employees across industries feel starved of the direct, honest guidance they need to thrive.

There are several different ways that managers or team members can communicate feedback, ranging from affirmations that highlight employee strengths to constructive criticism aimed at improvement. Regular, actionable feedback is not just preferred but actively sought by employees. According to Gallup’s 2023 workplace survey, 96% of employees consider receiving regular feedback as highly beneficial. However, the same research shows that fewer than 30% of workers report actually receiving consistent and meaningful feedback from their managers. This stark disparity creates challenges because positive recognition alone, while valuable, often lacks the clarity employees require to enhance their performance and address shortcomings. Further supporting this, a 2023 Gartner report indicated that employees who receive frequent and actionable feedback are 3.6 times more likely to be high performers than those who do not, demonstrating that feedback’s role extends well beyond motivation and directly impacts productivity and career progression. Critical or constructive feedback, when delivered respectfully, is not negative, it is an essential tool in employee development. Gallup finds that 80% of employees who received meaningful input in the past week report being fully engaged at work, compared with just 18% engagement among those who seldom hear from their managers. Frequent, specific guidance clarifies expectations and also shortens learning curve.

Despite its importance, many employees hear little beyond annual reviews. Only one in five workers receive weekly feedback (Gallup, 2024), and a third wait more than three months for substantive input (Workleap 2021). The longer the silence, the greater the risk of errors snowballing, disengagement rising, and career momentum stalling, this is particularly the case in hybrid environments where informal hallway coaching or quick in-person check-ins doesn’t exist. Yet, beyond frequency alone, the quality and clarity of the feedback itself can vary significantly, especially when employees come from diverse backgrounds.

The lack of constructive feedback becomes even more apparent when managers are communicating with employees of color, as many racially diverse employees deal with the issue of protective hesitation throughout their careers. Protective hesitation is the practice in which managers and colleagues hold back from giving critical or constructive feedback to employees, especially employees from under-represented groups, out of fear of being labeled biased. As previously pointed out, studies show that, although well intentioned, “sugar coating” or withholding of feedback actually shortchanges these employees, robbing them of opportunities to grow and excel in the long run. The intent may be to spare feelings, yet the effect is the opposite: it withholds information crucial to professional and company growth. In an October 2024 Gartner survey of 3,500 employees, 87% said algorithms might deliver fairer feedback than their managers, underscoring how deeply employees distrust the human element of performance conversations. Furthermore, the data show the impact is uneven. LeanIn.org’s 2024 Women in the Workplace report notes that women of color still receive less actionable feedback than any other demographic group, limiting their access to promotions and high-visibility projects. Another 2022 study highlighted in Forbes found that Black women are nine times more likely than white men to receive vague, non-actionable comments such as “keep it up” instead of concrete guidance. When coaching is diluted, employees of color must navigate unwritten rules without a roadmap, widening pay and leadership gaps over time.

Protective hesitation also drags on overall performance because teams miss out on fresh ideas when talented voices are under-developed, and turnover rises as frustrated employees seek clearer pathways elsewhere. Bias-disrupting practices such as structured review templates, manager training on effective communication, and executive coaching that models real-time, honest feedback, can begin to close the gap. They work best alongside accountability measures that track feedback frequency and quality, not just completion of annual reviews.

Nonetheless, employers can be proactive about combating protective hesitation by creating cultures of trust and accountability. Mid-level managers and executives should be trained on how to have uncomfortable conversations with empathy and fairness. Executive coaching can be particularly effective in sharpening these communication and leadership skills, ensuring that managers at every level are equipped to communicate with transparency and provide team members with constructive feedback because organizations that invest in bias training and encourage regular check-ins are more likely to see their employees, across all backgrounds, thrive. After all, a company that wants to foster authentic inclusion should ensure that everyone has the same access to the growth opportunities they deserve, regardless of background.